From Survivor to Thriver: Shifting Your Money Mindset

“How do you get over Survivor mindset and into Thriver mindset?” a client recently asked me in the context of finances.

As a firm focused on entrepreneurs who’ve built their companies from scratch, many of our clients come from nearly nothing. When you grow up never having enough and finally reach a place where you’re making real money, you’d think that would feel amazing. But if your habits don’t change, your experience of scarcity often doesn’t either. I’ve seen business owners in the top 10% income bracket still living a hand-to-mouth struggle.

No matter where we start, we’re all on a journey — leveling up from financial scarcity to security, to wealth building, to legacy leaving. At some point, every one of us gets stuck at one of these levels.

I’d love to tell you that I have three bulletproof, super-easy strategies to fix all your money troubles instantly. And sure, I have lots of great strategies. But in my experience, it doesn’t work that way. If you aren’t where you want to be financially, 99% of the time the problem isn’t in your bank account — it’s in your head.

What I do have for you are three important questions to uncover what’s really holding you back.

1. What Is Money to You?

Finish this sentence: Money is…

What are the first three adjectives that come to mind? Write them down.

In college, a philosophy professor posed this question to my class. Students answered with words like “temptation,” “evil,” and “corrupting.”

“Let’s see,” she said, pulling a five-dollar bill from her wallet and tossing it onto the table. We all leaned forward, waiting to see if it might catch fire or start dancing.

It didn’t, of course, It just sat there—a crumpled piece of paper imbued only with the power we gave it.

What power are you giving it?

If you think you want more money but subconsciously believe it’s evil, what are the odds you’ll sabotage yourself to avoid getting more of something “bad”?

If you see money as sunlight—an abundant resource available to all—and you, as a business owner, as a great tree soaking it up and spreading it through your ecosystem, how good will it feel to say “yes” to more?

Look back at the adjectives you wrote down. Are there any you want to cross out and replace?

2. What Is Your Money Story?

A money story is anything you’ve told yourself is true about money. Sometimes we repeat a story for so long that we forget it’s not a fact, just an idea we put in our own head.

So what stories have you convinced yourself are true? That there are always too many bills? That you’ll never earn what you’re worth? That all rich people are jerks?

I was lucky. My parents put a powerful money story into my mind when I was young:

“If you save on the things that don’t matter, you’ll always be able to afford the things that do.”

That story forces you to first decide: what matters?

Growing up, every morning my parents would pull up to the front of the school in an old (but reliable) Nissan Pathfinder with balding paint and doors that would lock or unlock every time we hit a bump. I'd get out wearing thrift store clothes and head to class. “She must be poor,” other kids assumed.

Then they’d see us leave for a month-long vacation to Hawaii, or they'd come over for my birthday party at our custom-built home with stunning views.

They wondered, how we could afford all that but not shop at the mall or drive a new F-150 like their parents? What they didn’t see was that because we didn’t spend money on appearances, we could afford experiences. Making wonderful memories together was what mattered most to my parents. They saved and spent accordingly.

What limiting stories have you been telling yourself about money? What empowering story are you going to tell yourself from now on?

3. How Do You Want to Be Rich?

Ramit Sethi introduces a powerful concept in his NYT bestseller I Will Teach You to Be Rich: A “rich life” isn’t defined by how much is in your bank account—it’s defined by what an incredible life looks like through your eyes.

So instead of asking, "How rich do I want to be?", ask yourself, "How do I want to be rich?"

For me, a rich life starts with freedom. I want to go where I want, when I want, and ask permission from no one. I’ve worked from a mountain ridge in Olympic National Park, from a café across the square from the Parthenon in Italy, and from a perfect white-sand beach in Thailand—signing off early to rock climbing in the afternoon. I also work hours most people would consider insane, because I work until the job is done. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Maybe that resonates with you—or maybe it doesn’t. Your rich life will look different from mine. If you’re a parent, rich might mean never missing your kid’s soccer game. If you’re a foodie, it might mean savoring every bite at Michelin-starred restaurants without worrying about the bill. As an entrepreneur, I know it includes building a company that outlasts you—leaving behind a legacy, not just a carbon footprint.

Forget the designer labels, flashy cars, and exclusive zip codes—those are just expensive ways to live life on someone else’s terms.

What does life on your terms look like? How do you want to be rich?

Turning Mindset Into Momentum

Honestly, I don’t have anything new to say on this topic. I’m sharing what I’ve learned through the lens of my experiences, hoping that hearing it in this way will click for you, and help you level up in your financial journey.

At the end of the day, you already know the secret to success because it’s the same as in the other areas of life you’ve already mastered:

1. Get clear on what you want.

2. Do the inner work to bring your head and heart into alignment.

3. Try, fail, learn, and try again until you crack the “how.”

4. Activate Beast Mode and do the work.

You already know how to do this. I know you do—because you’re not an employee kowtowing to a boss because you’re too afraid to do anything else. You’re self-made. Whether or not you’re where you want to be, you’re standing on your own two feet and moving in the right direction.

If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here reading this.

So get to it.

And if you feel stuck, I’m here. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m all in on this journey with you. We’ll get there together.