Why Your Team Isn’t Stepping Up (And How to Fix It)

Ever feel like everything falls on your shoulders? 

You’re constantly putting out fires. Deadlines keep getting pushed out. No one else seems to feel your sense of urgency and responsibility. No matter how much you check in, guide, and support, critical tasks still slip through the cracks. 

It’s not just you - I’ve been there too, and seen leaders across dozens of organizations wrestle with these frustrations. 

The uncomfortable but empowering truth is this: the issue usually isn’t your team. It’s the system you’ve created, or failed to create, as their leader.

Here are three common leadership mistakes that may be undermining you. Correct them, and you’ll move from managing tasks and chasing people, to leading a team that takes initiative, communicates clearly, and reliably delivers.

1. Death by Collaboration

Have you ever worked on a project when everyone was energized and collaborative, yet somehow nothing was getting done?

Maybe it was pitching the tent on a family camping trip. Grandma and Grandpa forgot their glasses but are shouting conflicting instructions from the manual. Mom and Dad are wrestling with the drop cloth. The kids have turned the tent poles into swords. No one can tell which way the rainfly goes. You finally get it upright — only to realize it’s inside out and you have to start over.

That’s Death by Collaboration.

No one knows who owns what. Some tasks don’t get done. Others get done twice. Deadlines become laughable. As a leader, you feel unsupported, constantly busy, and frustrated because nothing is moving forward despite everyone “working hard.” 

Maybe you exclaim, “I’ll just do it myself.” But that solution isn’t scalable. 

A Real-World Example

I was brought on by an organization that had just gone through a major pivot and was aligning around a new mission and vision. As the CEO walked me through their operations, she shared how frustrated she felt at having to run around doing everything herself. 

For example, a light on one of the buildings stopped working. Four different employees had walked over, examined it, and escalated the issue up the chain until it reached her. She grabbed a ladder, put in a new bulb, and the light came back on.

“Why does it take me to figure out how to change a lightbulb?” she asked. From her perspective, employees weren’t exercising basic problem-solving skills.

When I spoke with the employees, a different story emerged. They sincerely cared about the organization, but no one saw fixing light bulbs as their responsibility. Another factor was that the CEO’s priorities shifted rapidly. Hours of work could be put into something, only to be told that it was no longer wanted. Taking initiative felt risky, while waiting to be told what to do felt safe.

This wasn’t laziness. It was learned helplessness.

The Countermeasure

A wise mentor once told me: “If an employee does not know what is expected, they will do something unexpected.”

That advice shifted my thinking from “Why are they doing that?” to “How can I give clearer instructions?” 

2. Wrecking Ball Leadership 

When you assign responsibilities as a leader, you create what I call Zones of Control. This is a space where someone is empowered to make decisions, solve problems, and own results. 

Sometimes as a leader you see something inside someone’s zone and think: “Ah! Let me just fix that real quick.” So you run in, solve the issue, and run back out. 

To you, this feels efficient, helpful, and proactive.

To your employee, it feels like a wrecking ball crashing through their process.

The message they hear isn’t: “I’m here to help.” but rather “You don’t actually own this,” or potentially “I don’t trust you.” The next time a similar problem arises, instead of leaning in to handle it themselves, they’ll hesitate, stall, and wait for you to come fix it… again. 

A Real-World Example

A client reached out to me about a complex regulatory filing their organization needed to complete. I responded that my team would prepare it and keep them updated. We built out a project plan and began working.

A few weeks later, the client casually mentioned they were working on preparing the filing themselves.

I immediately flagged the overlap, shared our project tracker, and asked if they preferred dividing responsibilities clearly to avoid duplication, or pulling the work fully in house.

No response.

After a follow up they responded: “How about we have the best people to do certain things taking ownership of those things?”

What does that even mean?

This is Wrecking Ball Leadership followed by Death by Collaboration.

From their perspective, they were being proactive and responsible. 

From our perspective, ownership had just been destabilized. Instead of executing, we were distracted wondering whether to proceed, pause, or wait for direction. Progress stalled. 

When have you had a similar experience with a leader crashing into your zone of control?

The Countermeasure

When you have the authority to create and break zones of control, use that power wisely. Whenever possible, invest the time to teach employees to solve problems themselves. When something needs to change, bring your team with you through the process of re-engineering so that they understand what changed, why, and how they fit into the new picture. 

3. Cute Puppy Syndrome

You know when you have a new puppy and it chews something it shouldn’t? It needs to be corrected, but when you look into those big brown eyes, see the little wagging tail, your resolve melts. However, if you don’t train that puppy, it grows into a dog that barks incessantly and chews everything. How cute is that? 

Holding your team accountable works the same way.

When an employee makes a misstep, it’s not uncommon for them to blame it on something. The client got back to them late. Traffic was terrible. The situation was confusing. Overall they’re a good employee, so why be hard on them? 

However, if you let it go at that, you’ve succumbed to Cute Puppy Syndrome. It’s not about being mean or nice, it’s about seizing a teaching moment. 

A Real-World Example

A relatively new employee of mine was performing really well, up until she agreed to moving up a deadline, and then missed it.

In our check-in, I flagged this. She apologized and explained she’d been dealing with personal challenges, and the shortened deadline was too much. I could tell she was sincerely doing her best and felt overwhelmed. 

However, when we blame external factors for poor outcomes we become helpless. I had to correct this, or it would plant the seed of a much bigger problem.

I clarified the real issue: missing a deadline isn’t fatal. Missing it without telling the team is. If you flag a problem early, the team can adapt. If you stay silent, the problem snowballs.

Once she saw that distinction, the tension lifted. The lesson sunk in — this was not about being perfect, but about ownership and communication.

Not every story ends that way.

Another employee plateaued as responsibilities grew. Mistakes snuck into their work. Feedback was acknowledged but not absorbed. After several conversations and no meaningful change, it was clear this wasn’t the right fit.

They weren’t a bad employee. They were diligent and consistent. But on our team, ownership and growth aren’t optional. So I scaled back their hours and gently transitioned them out. 

The Countermeasure

Every time an employee doesn’t do something the way you want it done is an opportunity to bring them into better alignment. Don’t just correct the behavior. Guide them to reshape their thinking.

To do this you need to get in control of your own emotional state. Your feedback won’t land if it comes from a place of you screwed up and I’m angry at you. It also won’t land if you overcorrect the other way to you screwed up but it's fine. The tone you bring needs to be diagnostic and supportive: this pattern caused these problems; here is a better pattern to use next time. 

Clarify priorities. Point out implications. Ask them questions that get them thinking. And above all, set aside blame and focus them on accountability. This is how you overcome Cute Puppy Syndrome. 

The Leadership Field Diagnostic 

The next time you’re feeling friction with your team rather than flow, ask yourself these diagnostic questions: 

• For every major deliverable, can I name one person who ultimately owns the outcome?

• If I asked my team ‘who owns this’, would they all give the same answer?

• Have I identified which decisions people should make independently, vs. which to bring me in on?

• When have I bypassed the owner and made hands-on changes? What do I need to do to fix that damage? 

• What hard conversations need to happen that I'm currently avoiding?

• Am I leading by example? Or are there any bad behaviors I’m unconsciously role modeling? 

Answering these questions honestly will help you see where the gaps lie in your own leadership style, and how to fix them. 

The Path to Becoming a Better Leader

As employees we often think “why is my leader making so many mistakes? When I’m a leader I’ll do things so much better!” Then we get here and go “Oh shoot, this is really hard.”

If you’ve caught yourself making some of the mistakes I’ve outlined above, don’t beat yourself up over it. What’s far more important is that you’re already self aware and working to improve. That shows you’re on the path to becoming a great leader. Keep going.